(l to r) Jon Heder, David Spade, Jon Lovitz and Rob Schneider star in Revolution Studios’ comedy The Benchwarmers, a Columbia Pictures release (Copyright Sony Pictures, 2006). Photo Credit: Darren Michaels.

Happy Madison Productions, those who brought us most of Adam Sandler’s lousy, but at some points gut-busting comedies, issues us new film titled The Benchwarmers. I’ve never been that athletic (my friends can back me up on that one) or for that matter, really been on a sports team for long periods of time. I played soccer, but I was lousy and after a two years I decided that sports just weren’t for me.

The idea of totally missing out on sports as a child is pretty pathetic, even I not involved on a team get around to playing football and baseball with my siblings every once in a while. When it comes to this film, this is just the case, and the results aren’t that thrilling.

In a small town, where the bullies have always formulaicly picked on the different kids, Gus (Rob Schneider) a short lawn-mowing husband to his wife, Liz, (Molly Sims). The two have been trying to start a family for a while and his wife is obsessing over it. While mowing a lawn, Gus and his friend ,Clark (John Heder, Napolean Dynamite, but of course he needs no further introduction), the ever-helmet wearing geek of paper boy, notice a kid (Nelson, played by Max Prado) being picked on by an older group of kids on a baseball field. Gus and Clark run over to the field, but the bullies leave, they talk to Nelson and comfort him as best they can. When the bullies return, the two challenge the team to who gets to play on the field.

They collect another friend, Richie (David Spade), the truly desperate and pathetic video store clerk. Together, even though Clark and Richie have no baseball experience, they manage to beat the kids. After a verbal arguement at a Pizza Hut that night with the coach of the team that was at the field, Nelson’s father, Mel (John Lovitz), a rich billionaire (for some reason), is interested in having the team face all the mean spirited teams across the league.

Four on screen comedians in a Happy Madison Production sounds great, doesn’t it? Well one would think, but unfortunately, they picked probably the worst possible ones to fill the roles. Rob Schneider has been in almost all of Adam Sandler’s films, most of which included cameos of him screaming, “You can do it!” Always equally inspiring and really disgusting. To see him as a jock and a lead that doesn’t involve consistant sex jokes is actually quite a step for this comedian.

David Spade’s career never really took off to begin with, he’s been in a few films that weren’t too popular, except for Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, nor does it help him in this film. John Heder, I’m being honest about what I’m saying and I know everyone is going to hate me for it, has played Napolean Dynamite in his past few roles. In Just Like Heaven his character carried double the weird wisdom, and in The Benchwarmers he carries double the stupidity.

Director Dennis Dugan has directed a few respectable comedies such as Big Daddy and National Security. This film probably would have been well handled if the writing weren’t so absolutely tasteless, screenplay by Allen Covert (Grandma’s Boy and Eight Crazy Nights.)

Many of Covert’s jokes are of flatuelence, bathroom humor, involving feces and sexuality, and of course a few instances of onscreen vomiting. A decent amount of the baseball slapstick gives you a few decent chuckles, especially inolving John Heder getting either hit in the head or hitting someone with an alluminum bat.

I don’t consider it a good thing when films “stick to the formula.” In this film the bullies are always the nastiest kids you can think of, and the good guys are always the weakest and most pathetic. The coaches are abnoxious and most parents aren’t ever around. Is it necessary to stick to the formula? Can you not think of an original atmosphere, or do you just think that just because this worked once it’s a shoo in?

The film is meant for the teenage audience and the one that was in the auditorium with me seemed to have a pretty good time with it. Obviously this review isn’t really going to have much of an effect on what kind of numbers this film will generate in the box office. Those who are fans of the comedians will definetly be going and those who hate them will dodge, especially because this film was not screened for critics, (err, critics who followed the rules).

The film to me was truly a swing and miss comedy, and until the filmmakers decide to bring more tasteful humor to the screen and the distributors decide to screen their work, you’re out!

Rated PG-13 for crude and suggestive humor, and for language. Running Time 80 mins.