(L-r) Sharon Stone as Catherine Tramwell and David Morrissey as Dr. Michael Glass star in Columbia Pictures’ Basic Instinct 2, © 2006.

As my first writing assignment for Maximum Movies, I thought the task of reviewing Basic Instinct 2 would be an fun one. As an impressionable boy of twelve upon the original’s release, let’s just say I found the film a great way to spend some quality time at home (alone of course), boy, was I disappointed.

About twenty minutes into the film, I realized the job before me would not be easy. You see, Basic Instinct 2 cannot hold a candle to it’s predecessor.

My first thought for writing a 500+ word review for the lackey sequel was to repeat the word “sucks” 497 times, preceded by “this movie”. However, I was concerned that this wouldn’t quite capture my true feelings about this abysmal piece of celluloid, and to leave readers in the dark as to whether or not they should see this movie.

For those of you unfamiliar with the original; Basic Instinct was a highly anticipated and controversial film. It introduced Michael Douglas as the king of adult thrillers (following Fatal Attraction), and propelled Sharon Stone to stardom. The plot was simple: decorated San Francisco police officer is infatuated with a sexy novelist/murder suspect. What could have been a cliched ham-fest, turned out to be an erotic, hard boiled mystery; one which left the MPAA screaming.

Unfortunately, the sequel offers little in terms of sensuality, and goes through the motions with a story unworthy of cheap Harlequin romance novels.

A convoluted plot line reintroduces the notorious Catharine Tramell (Stone) as the primary suspect in a vehicular homicide. Upon acquittal, she then seeks the assistance of prosecuting psychoanalyst Dr. Michael Glass (a very Liam Niessonish. David Morrissey) just as she delves into her latest novel (surprise). Unsure of whether not to take Ms. Tramell under his care, Dr. Glass eventually does so, leading him down a trail of murder, deceit, sexual frustration and random monologues from a poorly conceived screenplay. Added into the mix is the appearance of American Spirit-like herbal cigarettes which burn oddly and a pair of fake boobs that would leave Anna Nicole saying “yowsers” (when the hell did Sharon Stone get those?). David Thewlis (sadly enough, not reprising his acclaimed, Oscar-caliber role from Dragonheart) plays the slightly off-kilter, and at times, annoying detective Waxman; introduced merely at the attempt of creating a formidable red herring.

The sex scenes are a mixed bag. Sadly, the steamiest of which do not feature Stone at all. Apparently, the film underwent scrutiny from the MPAA and was forced to undergo 3 “re-edits”. From the unrated version I witnessed, there was nothing to write home about. Episodes of Sex and the City are steamier.

The HDV cinematography is crisp and colorful, and the London backdrop well utilized; but ultimately, the screenplay fails to capture the essence of what made the original so successful. Ms. Tramell was merely an enigma; a sexual fantasy to fawn over. In the sequel, she’s an overly verbal version of what her character once was. An annoyance. The mystery is long gone (along with the majority of Stone’s sensual prowess).

The conclusion is particularly frustrating; with a vague explanation and Fight Club-ish cinematography/editing. Sorry folks, but you’ve seen everything in this film somewhere else done better. Also, the musical score from the original is poorly utilized, primarily over establishing shots.

Look out for cameo appearances from the ice pick and shot set-ups from the original film, as they are uncredited during final billing.

So, bottom line; if you wish to see an aging starlet in outdated European clubbing attire, reciting the word “cum” about thirty-five times, then go ahead and rent Basic Instinct 2. If not, then tune in to the Oxygen Network on Sunday nights, where a 70+ year old Sue Johanson will recite dirtier words while displaying adult toys. This will seem hotter. Trust me. This one does no justice to the original outing, and only exists as an attempt to cash in on the success of the first entry. A $70 million budget to $5.3 million return hardly seems to justify a third chapter in the series; yet according to insiders, Ms. Stone herself is planning on directing it. That’s Hollywood for you.

A sample line of dialogue from Basic Instinct 2: “Don’t feel too bad…even Oedipus didn’t see his mother coming”. Wow. Comparing the screen’s hotest vixen to somebody’s mother. Just goes to show you they waited a few too many years to make this sequel.

Alternate title: Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction (be forewarned - the only risk here is developing a case of narcolepsy)

SPECIAL FEATURES

9 (unnecessary) deleted Scenes and an alternate ending - which seems inconsequential since it’s already been explained. What’s alternate about it? I have no idea. Should have been called “extended ending”.

BEHIND THE SHEETS: A LOOK INSIDE BASIC INSTINCT 2 - A ten and a half minute featurette/propaganda film where the filmmakers suggest they’re smarter than you are. Budget? Film stock? Shooting schedule? None of these questions are answered; as we’re forced to endure a parade of pseudo celebrities celebrating the excess of a poorly utilized $70+ million budget.

Commentary by Director Michael Caton-Jones - Although I couldn’t suffer through his pretentious ramblings. Good luck.

2:35 to 1 widescreen

Scene Selections; English/French audio, English/French Subtitles

Review of Unrated version